I Ask A Question For Which I Have No Answer

If you could change one piece of your life, one momentous happening that you look at now, knowing that it has shaped your life, for better or worse, ever after, would you do it? Would you change it, erase its power? Wish to see the ‘you’ that might have been without this moment?

It’s not a je ne regrette rien moment. Those moments are about decisions we make, or that’s what I see them as, anyway. It’s those moments that happen to you and you have no control, you made no choice for the event, but nonetheless its ramifications affect your life ever after.

I’ve had a long, hard relationship with my ‘momentous moment’. It wasn’t a great one. At the time, and for many years after, it held me in a thrall that coloured how I thought about myself and how I valued myself.

Through it, though, through dealing with it, thinking about it, talking about it, examining my place in it all and taking away its power (somewhat) I know that I am the person I am today not just despite it but because of it, and I like that person, mostly.

I think it taught me compassion. I think it helped shape my politics and my causes. I think it influenced my parenting style. I think it helped me be strong. I think it helped me be kinder. I think it showed me the power of forgiveness.

So, would I take it away? Would you take away yours?

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