It’s All Gonna Be Okay

It’s with some trepidation I go back to work tomorrow. Not because the work is hard or boring or awful as it’s none of those things, it’s just that I’m convinced that my workplace and my sciatica are inextricably linked.

I’ve made some changes to my work station to try and get a better deal for my back but I need to do more. I need a new chair and soon but how to do that when I can’t drive to work? The place where they have chairs is in another town, not just another suburb, and miles from the nearest train station. I also need to get an adjustable monitor stand or monitor and a foot stool.

That’s just for my desk. Then I have to stop sitting at all the other desks in the place, looking for emails and trying to find forgotten files, as none of them are set right for me. I have to stop just adjusting the chairs and tables and learn instead to let others do it. I have to take more breaks that I need to take for my back health and minimise the interruptions that needn’t happen so that when I’m in ‘the zone’ the work gets done.

When I get back there are two grants to finish spending, more grants to apply for, other projects to get organised, papers to check and getting ready for the new term (school holiday program to organise as well).

I have to remember to take it all a bit slowly. Don’t push, don’t stress, take my meds, eat regularly, drink water and just let it happen.

Then there’s study. You’d think that with three weeks off work I’d be way ahead but, of course, I’m not. I’m behind, floundering, but deciding to go ahead anyway (could have withdrawn up until today) finding that I know, intrinsically, what it’s about, and it’s just the reading and writing that I need to get my head around. Now that I don’t have to take as many painkillers I might even be able to concentrate on understanding the readings so I can do the writing.

It’s all gonna be okay.

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